My thoughts as i become a man

The thoughts that been going through my head now as i continue to grow everyday are freedom.
Free or  myself free of being in my own way and being my own down fall, and not losing  making every opertunity stick
The only thing  is to strive is to embrace the struggles and learn from it .  In my lifes struggles i could  write a book  that would probably entertain you and send you on a roller coaster ride through a dark side of life .  The kind of life that is just so evil and so sad because the circles i chose to be a part of . The key word is I , Ì was the one who made the mistakes if we are going to grow we have to take responsibiltiy for our own actions and today i take all of my actions and hold myself accountable  for everything no more blaming other for all the dumb things i do.  I respect  my growth and challenge life lets keep it going im ready for it all.

10 All-Natural Stress Busters These 10 tips will help you reduce the stress in your life — no herbal supplements or medications necessary. By Theresa Tamkina

Drug-Free Relief

Your boss is driving you crazy, you’re in hot water with your honey, and the jerk in the little red car just cut you off. Wouldn’t it be great if there were a stress buster as simple to use as a vitamin pill? Well, there are plenty of products out there that claim to reduce stress. The problem? There isn’t a lot of rock-solid evidence that stress-busting herbal and nutritional supplements actually work.
“Kava kava, valerian, and chamomile tea have all been advocated for reducing anxiety, St. John’s wort is used for mild depression, and a blend of natural herbs called adaptogens are very popular in Russia and Eastern Europe for relieving stress,” says Dr. Paul Rosch, president of the American Institute of Stress.
“The problem here is that such supplements do not have to provide evidence of efficacy or safety and can make any claims they wish to since the Food and Drug Administration and the Federal Communications Commission have no jurisdiction over them. In addition, few of these products have any double-blind clinical trials to back up their claims, much less a scientific rationale for support,” Rosch explains.
So you may end up having to experiment to see if they work for you. And “all natural” doesn’t necessarily mean “incapable of harm.” Some herbs, such as St. John’s wort, can interfere with prescription medications. And kava-containing supplements have been known to cause liver damage severe enough to require a transplant. If you want an alternative “all natural” stress buster, you may want to try these instead:
Some studies have suggested that people who use “religious coping” — seeking God’s help, finding comfort in religion — have lower blood pressure than those who use alternate stress relievers. The simple act of praying for stress relief might be enough to achieve your goal.
Rediscover your spiritual self  >>
A recent study found that those people with a propensity to forgive others tended to have — you guessed it: lower blood pressure than their less-forgiving peers. Isn’t it time you gave up that grudge, if only to gain the health benefits?
About 60 percent of people who are stressed say they don’t get enough sleep, according to a National Consumers League survey. If falling asleep is your trouble, it’s time to start a calming bedtime routine. Start with a soothing shower and some lavender body wash. Then slip between the covers with a light novel and you’ll be asleep in no time.
Can’t find the time or money to plan a lounge on the beach for a week? A vacation can be as simple as a quick weekend trip, or a special event near home. All that’s necessary is that you spend an extended period of time not thinking about those things — work, money, relationships — that are making you crazy.

how to cope with long distance relationships



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7 Long-Distance Relationship Tips Inspired By The Movie “Like Crazy”


The FriskyNovember 11, 2011Leave a Comment // Relationships”LIKE CRAZY”Watch the trailer here!Watch »MANAGING AN LDRHow to deal with a long-distance relationship.Read More »GOT A BF OUT OF TOWN?Here is some advice to follow when visiting your man.Read More »Are you starting to wonder if whoever coined the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” was ever involved in a long-distance relationship? The truth is, when many miles separate you and your honey, keeping your connection strong is tough regardless of your fondness for each other. In the wonderful new film “Like Crazy,” Jacob, an American, and Anna, a British exchange, fall in love at school in LA. The couple is forced to try to maintain their relationship from a great distance when she is banned from the U.S. after overstaying her visa. While you and your long-distance boo may not necessarily be separated by an ocean and the laws of citizenship, an LDR of any distance is still a struggle. By establishing a few ground rules and engaging in creative methods of communication, however, you can make a long-distance relationship thrive. Before you give up on fanning the flames of your long-distance romance, consider employing these strategies to keep your long-distance love hot.1. Establish ground rules from the start. “Like Crazy”‘s Jacob and Anna were ripped apart without warning so there wasn’t an opportunity for them to sit down in person and discuss the terms of their arrangement. But whether it’s by phone, email, or, better yet, Skype, you and your mate must openly communicate about and mutually agree upon the ground rules and terms of your relationship.  “Openly discuss topics such as whether to remain monogamous or not when apart, how often to communicate and how often to visit,” says DeAnna Lorraine, a San Diego-based dating coach. Do not assume anything, and leave nothing up in the air. “When there are no misunderstandings or bad feelings, both partners are on the same page, which is the formula for a strong bond,” she asserts.2. Discuss a mutually agreed-upon end goal for your relationship. In order for a long-distance relationship to survive, Lorraine says that both parties need to feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Unfortunately for them, Anna and Jacob are left with fewer options as a result of her visa issues, while Jacob’s booming career makes relocating to London not ideal. But discussing those options — even the less ideal ones — is something every couple in an LDR needs to do. “Whether it’s that one or both parties will relocate after your separation, that you’ll be seeing each other exclusively afterwards or that at the end of your separation you’ll get married, having something you can both look forward to when the going gets tough will remind you both why you’re involved in a challenging situation,” she says. When setting your end goal, make sure it’s one you both understand and on which you both agree. “Never establish an end goal thinking or hoping that you will change your partner’s mind along the way,” she warns. “Thinking or hoping your partner will move back or propose, for example, only sets you up for disappointment and resentful feelings.”3. Avoid excessive communicating. While speaking to your partner every day may feel like the best way to stay close, Lorraine actually cautions against such frequent chat-fests. “I recommend having only one scheduled hour (or longer) phone call a week,” she explains. “By doing this, you’ll have more exciting updates to share and you’ll be much more excited and enthusiastic to talk to each other because you’ve been anticipating that phone date all week.” If one hour a week sounds too little to comprehend — and, if we’re being honest, it does to us! — at the very least try giving yourself a day in between calls. Less-frequent communication will not only keep you from growing dependent on each other, but also will provide you both with the freedom to grow independently and have your own lives and hobbies.4. Alternate visits on each other’s turfs. Whenever possible, try to keep the efforts you both put forth traveling to see each other equal, ideally alternating visits to each other’s places. “This plan ensures you will spend the same amount of time becoming parts of each other’s lives and getting to know each other’s friends,” she explains. “If one person is doing all the traveling, this can not only create an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship, but it can also lead to a partner’s resentment.” “Like Crazy”‘s Anna and Jacob didn’t have the luxury of alternating visits, but that didn’t stop resentment from building between them. If you’re lucky enough to be able to visit each other, make the most of it and do it in equal amounts!5. Raise your trust level significantly. Naturally, being separated from your significant other means you’re not as privy to his or her whereabouts and activities. “Not knowing exactly what your partner is up to all the time can create significant anxiety and insecurities in people,” she explains, “so if you want your long-distance relationship to survive, you need to learn to fully trust each other or it’s simply not going to work.” Grant each other the freedom to live your lives separate from each other and resist the temptation to vocalize jealousy and suspicions, become overprotective, or accusatory of the other. “This type of behavior will only breed contempt—aside from making you sound neurotic and unattractive,” Lorraine says.6. Keep it sexy and spicy. Because time together is rare, when you do see each other, take as much advantage as possible of your ability to get intimate with each other. “Make sure your roommates or friends know your partner is going to be in town and keep the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign up!” Lorraine suggests. During those stretches when you can’t be with each other physically, use it as an opportunity to write a few old-fashioned love letter. Another idea: use technology to go on “dates” together. For example, watch the same movie at the same time and discuss on the phone after.  Or make dinner and then eat together via Skype. There’s no reason to miss out on some of the better parts of dating completely just because you’re not physically together.7. Live your life! One of the keys to surviving a long-distance relationship is to make sure you maintain your life, friendships and interests when your partner is away. For Anna and Jacob, their obsessive focus on finding a way to be together doesn’t allow them much time to cultivate other relationships and friendships. “Many people in long-distance relationships have their whole lives wrapped up in their partner, which leaves them terribly depressed when the partner leaves,” Lorraine notes. “This dependency stunts your personal growth, which will later take its toll on your relationship.” To ensure that you don’t lose sight of your goals and your life, use your separation as an opportunity to focus on your career or schooling without distraction and take advantage of your time away from your partner to develop strong friendships. “Being in a long-distance relationship actually offers a wonderful benefit that a close physical relationship does not: you can both continue to grow and richen your lives independently of each other while still being in a partnership,” Lorraine asserts. “If handled correctly, each partner can become much more productive and well-developed, and will have more to bring to the relationship in the end.”This post is sponsored by the film “Like Crazy,” in theaters now, but the opinions expressed are our own. by TaboolaFrom The Web


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quote of the day

“Like a Columbus of the heart, mind and soul I have hurled myself off the shores of my own fears and limiting beliefs to venture far out into the uncharted territories of my inner truth, in search of what it means to be genuine and at peace with who I really am. I have abandoned the masquerade of living up to the expectations of others and explored the new horizons of what it means to be truly and completely me, in all my amazing imperfection and most splendid insecurity.” ― Anthon St. Maarten

Quote of the day

“We’re always taught that God wants us to always only say “I can’t do this without You God” , “Whatever your will is God, that’s my will too” but God says He is a father, and there is no good father who wants his children to have no will and to think that they can’t stand on their own two feet. So maybe what you should be saying is “I can do it” and “I have a strong will, I know what I want.” When you think God’s left you and wants you to be sitting like a duck, maybe He’s actually believing in you, teaching you how to fly.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Road to Resilience

Factors in Resilience

A combination of factors contributes to resilience. Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience.Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including:The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.Skills in communication and problem solving.The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.All of these are factors that people can develop in themselves.

Strategies For Building Resilience

Developing resilience is a personal journey. People do not all react the same to traumatic and stressful life events. An approach to building resilience that works for one person might not work for another. People use varying strategies.Some variation may reflect cultural differences. A person’s culture might have an impact on how he or she communicates feelings and deals with adversity — for example, whether and how a person connects with significant others, including extended family members and community resources. With growing cultural diversity, the public has greater access to a number of different approaches to building resilience.Some or many of the ways to build resilience in the following pages may be appropriate to consider in developing your personal strategy.

Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.Additional ways of strengthening resilience may be helpful. For example, some people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to trauma or other stressful events in their life. Meditation and spiritual practices help some people build connections and restore hope.The key is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own personal strategy for fostering resilience.

Taking risk

I’ve always been a person who took risk.
My problems where the risk I was willing to take where very detrimental to me.
The risk offered my freedom sometimes or my life others. Im still alive so have not payed with my life yet but have lost my freedom more then once. Calculated risk are the risk that im willing to take. I still take risk just without the huge down side. I know that this life is the only one that I have . I would live with regret if I never thought about taking another risk so take risk that are not detrimental to you…

Remove Your Negative Self-Esteem

Start from within. Ignore any and all destructive criticism or insults, including any from your past. Your opinion of yourself is the most important opinion of all, because you know yourself better than anyone else. Many of us have been hurt by others at some time. It is crucial not to internalize that abuse and let them continue to hurt us, because that means the other person wins. If we let go of the past, ignore hurtful negativity and make ourselves happy, then we win.

Create daily affirmations. Tell yourself that you are a wonderful person who deserves to be happy. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. If you’ve made mistakes that prevent you from believing that you deserve to be happy, take measures to relieve that guilt. Apologize to people you may have hurt (if possible), learn from those mistakes and forgive yourself.
Start with small steps to gain confidence. Take small steps and make small choices to gain confidence in your ability to make a decision. As you become secure in your ability to make good choices, you will gain confidence in yourself, and be more secure about your abilities in general.
Trust yourself and go with whatever feels right to you. For example, if purchasing jeans makes you anxious because of the plethora of brands, colors, and styles, then just go with your instincts. And if,in retrospect, you really feel you made a wrong decision, the situation can be easily rectified by exchanging the jeans.
Please yourself. Instead of constantly pleasing everybody else, please yourself more often. It is great to be considerate of others, but think before sacrificing your own needs to please them. Bending over backwards for strangers, mere acquaintances or people you don’t trust may leave you with the short end of the stick. In short, don’t allow yourself to be used.

Be your own person. Don’t try to copy anyone else. You will be at your best when you are being yourself because of your uniqueness. Strive to be your best and do not criticize yourself if you fall short of your expectations.
Avoid negative people. People who have a negative attitude which may rub off on you are not good for you. If you’re timid, loud and aggressive people are probably not good for you, and vice versa. Whatever you do, do not compare yourself to others. Just be the best that you can be.
Face your fears and learn from your failures. We only fail when we do not make the best out of adversity. When something doesn’t go the way we would like it to, there is something to be learned from that, which can be applied next time you are in a similar situation. Get up and try again.
Stop the negative thoughts. Try positive thinking on for size. The term “self-fulfilling prophecy” in relation to self-esteem basically states that whatever you believe about yourself, whether it be perfect or totally off base, becomes true. If you constantly tell yourself you are stupid or that you will never achieve success, you will in turn act as such. When negative thoughts come into your mind, speak to them. Say “Stop” or “No,” and instantly replace that negative thought with a positive one. Using this method will help you to break the habit of repeatedly giving yourself negative messages. Instead, make a habit out of saying positive things about yourself and to yourself, and use the self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage.

Inspiration for Black men

I’m always in search of African leaders that did great things for our people.
Learning more about  my heritage is like learning more about me. I have to be great I have to work harder because im not only living for me im living for a entire culture.  Time for me to make a movement to learn, teach,  grow and inspire  others. Awareness is a start…

In 1960, Robert Mugabe returned to his hometown on leave, planning to introduce his fiancée to his mother. Unexpectedly, upon his arrival, Mugabe encountered a drastically changed Southern Rhodesia. Tens of thousands of black families had been displaced by the new colonial government, and the white population had exploded.

The government denied black majority rule, resulting in violent protests. Mugabe too was outraged by this denial of blacks’ rights. In July 1960, he agreed to address the crowd at the protest March of 7,000, staged at Salisbury’s Harare Town Hall. The purpose of the gathering was for members of the opposition movement to protest the recent arrest of their leaders. Steeling himself in the face of police threats,


Younger Years
Early Political Career
2013 Election
Mugabe told the protestors about how Ghana had successfully achieved independence through Marxism.

Just weeks later, Mugabe was elected public secretary of the National Democratic Party. In accordance with Ghanaian models, Mugabe quickly assembled a militant youth league to spread the word about achieving black independence in Rhodesia. The government banned the party at the end of 1961, but the remaining supporters came together to form a movement that was the first of its kind in Rhodesia. Membership of the Zimbabwe African People’s Union grew to a staggering 450,000. Its voice refused to be silenced. The union’s leader, Joshua Nkomo, was invited to meet with the United Nations, who demanded that Britain suspend their constitution and readdress the topic of majority rule. But, as time passed and nothing had changed, Mugabe and others were frustrated that Nkomo didn’t insist on a definite date for changes to the constitution. So great was his frustration, that by April of 1961, Mugabe publicly discussed starting a guerilla war–even going so far as to declare defiantly to a policeman, “We are taking over this country and we will not put up with this nonsense.”